Drunk On You
by Luna Darkside
Summary: "We'll talk about this when you're not drunk." - Not the reaction anyone hopes for when confessing to their love interest. While completely sober. /ShinKai, oneshot, complete/


_Couples: _Shinichi x Kaito (reversible, I'd say), Aoko x Unnamed Other Male, one-sided-ish Hakuba x Aoko, friendship!Hakuba & Kaito, slight Hakuba x Shinichi (I know, unusual, but there's actually, like, trace amounts in here)

_AU_: Shinichi and Kaito (and Hakuba and Aoko and everyone else) all attend Touto University as second-years.

_Notes_: I, um, actually don't know how the dorm system works in Japan, being from the U.S. and having never gone to universities in Japan. And Google couldn't get me too far, so, um, yeah. I just sort of based the dorms off of how American ones are organized. Also, yay for grammar mistakes and cliches.

Hope you enjoy! - Luna

**Drunk On You**

If Kuroba Kaito had known any better, he probably wouldn't have actually listened to the text he'd received at approximately twelve forty-seven in the morning, especially as it was from one Hakuba Saguru.

Unfortunately, he hadn't.

Which was why he was now standing in the doorway to the dimly-lit bar, flat-out staring across the room at the booth where Hakuba was sprawled in a vaguely rug-like manner.

Raking his bangs back, Kaito heaved a sigh and crossed the bar, pushing past the haphazardly strewn tables and chairs and a few other university students who were sprawled out over the floor. A few feet away, Hakuba laughed in a very un-Hakuba-esque way that had Kaito's eyebrows jumping.

"Damn you," he muttered, banging his hip on a barstool before he finally reached Hakuba. The blond detective gurgled, a wide smile carving his lips.

"Kai~to-kun!" he sang, slinging an arm around Kaito's neck and dragging him against his side. The magician froze instantly.

"Do not touch me," he barely managed to grind out. Hakuba just giggled, burying his face in Kaito's bicep.

"But Kai –"

"I swear to God, _let go of me or I will _castrate_ you_."

At that, Hakuba's lip curled downward, and he pouted as he retracted his arm. "Kaito-kun is no fun."

Sighing in relief, Kaito dug his phone out of his pocket and opened up the text he'd gotten. Presenting it to Hakuba, who was throwing back the last of his whiskey, he asked, "May I ask why I received this text, or do you no longer know due to your blood alcohol content?"

Hakuba blinked at the phone as if it were a foreign object. He leaned forward until his nose was nearly pressed against the screen. Kaito flinched. "What's that?"

"A text you sent to me thirty minutes ago. And because I'm actually a good friend despite that I hate you, I dragged myself out of bed and came like the text asked." He glanced at the text and lifted an eyebrow. "Actually, I'm not sure if that's what you were asking. I mean, it just says 'im MIne, wsh u were here. y dont u cm?' And really, 'cm' can mean a lot of things."

"I didn't send that," Hakuba mewled as he draped himself over the table. "The sock goblin must have done it!"

Kaito regarded him blankly. "Right." He honestly did not want to know.

Although, he thought as he watched Hakuba try to eat his cup, he had to admit that he just felt sort of bad for Hakuba. It had been common knowledge for the past five years that Hakuba was completely stupid for Kaito's childhood friend, Nakamori Aoko, but either Aoko didn't know or didn't care, because she had finally agreed to go out with that one guy from her econ class.

Tonight, in fact.

It was only natural that Hakuba went out and tried to drown his sorrows in a few gallons of whiskey.

And really, Kaito had expected it. He'd almost been waiting for Hakuba's text.

He blew out a breath as Hakuba slowly began to realize that cups were not exactly edible. As much as the detective irked him from time to time, Kaito knew they'd long since passed from the gray area of self-identifying rivals into something that resembled friendship in everything but labels. He was, and always would, be there to pick up Hakuba after life-shattering events like Aoko's date.

"Okay, Hakuba, we're going now." Kaito scooted out from beside Hakuba; the blond sent him a dazed stare.

"We're going? But – but why?"

"Because it's late and while we don't have class tomorrow, you're going to want to be home when you start throwing up." Kaito tugged on Hakuba's arm definitively (and probably not as gently as he could have). "We're going."

Staggering to his feet, Hakuba let out something akin to a whine. "But I don't wanna go yet, Kaito-kun!"

"Please do not call me that," grumbled Kaito as he dragged Hakuba past their still-slumbering classmates. He shot the bartender a look that read _I'll pay you back later _in eye-language– the bartender grunted in acknowledgement and continued wiping the glass in his hands, and Kaito thanked Lady Luck and any other deities watching over him that the man seemed to understand there was something _very _wrong with Hakuba right now – and yanked a little harder as he introduced Hakuba to the night air.

"Walk," he grumbled, half-dragging the blond along the sidewalk. It was only a ten minute walk back to campus, but ten minutes lugging around a wasted, five-eleven, and 143 lb detective around could seem like an eternity.

"Kaito-kun, it's cold," Hakuba announced, very helpfully digging his heels in. Kaito wondered if he could drown the five-eleven, 143 lb detective in the nearest pond without anyone noticing.

A little smile worked itself across his lips unbidden. Not with his neighbor.

The smile disappeared when Hakuba clutched at his shoulder frantically. "I – there's butterflies! Kaito-kun, there's _butterflies_!" he whispered urgently before he passed out, hitting the concrete with a rather anticlimactic thud.

Kaito felt the urge to facepalm rising.

* * *

Swearing violently, Kaito hoisted Hakuba's limp form through the door to their dorm, his arms giving out once the door slammed shut behind him. Hakuba faceplanted rather gracefully, making a small sound of discomfort as his face ground into the carpet.

The blond stirred, murmuring something around his mouthful of carpet. Kaito leaned in, perplexed, just in time to hear him mumble, "Aoko…"

A pang of something like pity hit Kaito straight in the stomach. His lips twisted into a sad smile. Poor kid.

A few doors down, there was the sound of shuffling before the door cracked open and a cowlicky head stuck out. "Kuroba? Hakuba?" rasped a familiar voice, and Kaito glanced over his shoulder, his heart doing an involuntary flip in his chest.

Kudou Shinichi stood framed in the doorway, scrubbing at his eyes with one hand while the other roved over the back of his head, trying to smooth down the cowlicks. "It's late, you know." He yawned. "Like, really, _really _late."

Hakuba chose that moment to reanimate, suddenly clinging to Kaito's leg so tightly that the magician nearly fell over. "_Kaito-kun! _It's_ Shinichi-chan!_" he hissed, eyes wide as he clawed painfully at Kaito's calf.

Shinichi blinked. "Did he just call me 'Shinichi-chan'?"

"Yes," Kaito answered flatly, trying to wrestle the blond detective off of him. To no avail. Apparently Hakuba's strength only increased with the consumption of alcohol.

Fairly certain circulation had long since stopped in his leg, Kaito gave up, settling for bonking Hakuba repeatedly on the head. Hakuba appeared to not notice, clinging harder as he whispered very loudly, "So are you going to tell him?"

"Tell him what?"

Hakuba batted him on the knee. Kaito tried not to grimace at the pain, glaring at Hakuba and increasing the speed and force behind his smacks. "Tell Shinichi-chan that you _love _him!" Hakuba hissed, undeterred.

Oh shit. Kaito froze, his hand hovering half an inch from Hakuba's head. Damn it all. He _definitely _shouldn't have told Hakuba about his, uh, attraction to the former high school detective. But he hadn't known that this scene straight from his worst nightmare would actually happen, dammit.

"Hakuba…" he growled lowly, concentrating on trying not to just break out of Hakuba's grip and run as far as he could. He was far too scared to look back at Shinichi to gauge his reaction.

Something brushed against his arm, and Kaito jerked, head whipping up to see Shinichi prying Hakuba off of him, a resigned expression on his face. "Of course, Hakuba," he said soothingly, pulling Hakuba towards Hakuba and Kaito's dorm. "Whatever you say. Let's get you to bed, okay?"

Hooking an arm around Shinichi's neck as he was yanked towards the door, Hakuba leaned in towards Shinichi, pressing his face into the spot where Shinichi's neck met his shoulder. Kaito saw Shinichi recoil as Hakuba's lips swept over his cheekbone.

He scowled in irritation, stalking after his worst, _worst _enemy and his love interest with growing annoyance.

Hakuba glanced behind them and laughed at the dark expression on Kaito's face. He turned back to Shinichi, who squirmed, trying to get out of Hakuba's grip. "You know, Shinichi-chan, Kaito-kun reaaaaally likes you," the blond told him. Loudly. "He's _so _jealous right now."

Kaito decided that perhaps if he prayed hard enough, the ground would open up and swallow him.

It didn't. He was going to need to reconsider his choices in religion.

Hakuba was still going on about how Kaito harbored a long term crush on Shinichi when Shinichi dropped him rather unceremoniously on his bed and took a step back, wiping his forehead. Hakuba rolled over, smothering his face in his pillow contentedly.

Shinichi flinched. "Hakuba is a very, uh, interesting drunk," he remarked. "Unexpectedly clingy."

"Right," Kaito said. He didn't know what he should do. Shinichi was acting as if Hakuba's words were to be completely disregarded, but was the idea really that insane?

As if hearing his thoughts, Shinichi turned to smile awkwardly at him. "I mean, there's no way that you're, I don't know, in _love _with me or anything. That would be impossible."

Oh, was _that _how it was? Kaito felt something in his chest burn. "You… think it's impossible?"

"Well…" Shinichi was hesitant as he pushed back a handful of his hair and let out a sigh. "I mean, I don't think that you'd…" He trailed off, more and more confused by the second by the expression on Kaito's face. "What are you trying to say?"

Kaito's mouth had long since gone dry. Gathering up the trampled remnants of his courage, he quietly said, "I'm saying that Hakuba was right."

Eyes widening, Shinichi just stared. Kaito's heart sped up, rattling against his ribs so desperately he felt slightly nauseous.

"I _am _in love with you. I have been for a long time," he continued, searching Shinichi's face for some kind of reaction, _any _kind of reaction. He was horrified to see Shinichi's mouth tightening at the corners, his eyes narrowing.

Kaito was suddenly struck with the monumental consequences of what he'd just done.

"Look, I don't want this to –" he began, but Shinichi cut him off as he turned towards the door.

"We'll talk about this when you're not drunk," he said.

And that was it. He left, shutting the door behind him.

* * *

At first, Kaito had been crushed. You know, because Shinichi had just _assumed _that he'd been drunk when he'd been stone-cold sober because the idea of Kaito being in love with him was _just that insane_. There was that. Then he'd gotten sort of depressed, because didn't that mean he'd been _rejected_?

But then when he realized that Shinichi was _avoiding him_, Kaito had gotten more than a little annoyed.

Because really, it wasn't normal for Shinichi to take one step out of his dorm, see Kaito leaving his, and then quickly return to his room wordlessly. It wasn't normal for him to miss _three _criminal psych lectures for absolutely no reason. It wasn't normal for him to suddenly need to spend about all his waking hours with Hattori and need to "go somewhere" every time Kaito walked into the room.

It was painfully clear that Kaito was being avoided. And it was pissing him off like nothing else.

He glowered as Shinichi walked into the café, blanched at the sight of Kaito, and ran like his life depended on it. "What the hell is up with him?"

Hakuba, who Kaito suspected still hadn't gotten over his hangover over the course of a week, made a noncommittal grumbling sound. "What did you do?"

"I hate you," Kaito commented conversationally. "This is _your _fault, and you can't even remember."

Blinking, Hakuba stared at him. "What?"

"Never mind, bastard," Kaito murmured, dropping his face onto one hand. "I confessed to him, seeing as _you _told him about me liking him while drunk out of your mind."

"…Oh."

"Yep. So that happened." Kaito fought back the urge to glare at the blond detective, restraining a sigh. He still sort of felt bad for Hakuba, who still looked broken most of the time and whose dark circles seemed to have taken up permanent residence underneath his eyes. Aoko and her new "friend" were still going strong.

"Sorry about that," Hakuba apologized, leaning back in his chair. "I mean, I probably shouldn't have gone binge drinking to begin with, and so really, this is my fault."

"Damn straight it is," agreed Kaito, but there wasn't any bite in his voice. His anger had sort of dulled into a blank weariness now, as he marveled at how he'd managed to screw up a four-year relationship with just a couple of words.

When he looked up, realizing that he'd been staring unblinkingly at the table at which he'd been sitting, Hakuba was regarding him carefully.

"What is it?" Kaito grumbled, feeling vulnerable. Hakuba's calculating stare reminded him all too much of Shinichi's.

Hakuba hummed, resting his chin on his hands. "Nothing. You just don't seem like the Kuroba-kun I know."

Arching an eyebrow, Kaito asked, "By which you mean…?" as he lifted an eyebrow.

"You're far too passive. The Kuroba-kun I know goes for what he wants. He doesn't let things like this stop him," Hakuba explained, the beginnings of a sardonic smirk on his face. "And he _never _mopes around at a coffee shop with a bastard like me."

Kaito stared. "You… you're actually…"

The blond smiled angelically. "What am I doing, Kuroba-kun?"

"Being…" Kaito stopped abruptly. Hakuba didn't seem to want him to say it, but he was being_ nice_. Being_ a friend_.

It was funny to stop and really _think_ about how someone he'd kind of thought of a rival, an enemy, an annoying idiot, had come to be a _friend_.

He smiled. "Being a bastard." _Thank you._

Hakuba grinned, lifting his coffee cup to his lips. "That's my specialty." _You're welcome_.

* * *

When Kaito got back to the dorm, Shinichi was studying in the common area. He looked up at the sound of the door opening and paled instantly, hurrying to gather up his books.

A flare of something like anger pulsed through Kaito, and before he was fully aware of what he was doing, he was demanding, "Why are you so scared of me?"

Shinichi winced. His eyes found Kaito's, gingerly, falteringly, and Kaito almost capitulated at the pure azure. As it was, his ire melted instantly and he felt his face relax. Shinichi had really too much power over him.

"I…" the detective stammered, then stopped, returning his gaze to his hands.

In five strides, Kaito was across the room, kneeling in front of Shinichi. "What's _wrong _with you?" he reprimanded, though his tone was gentle.

"I really don't… you…" Shinichi lifted his head, his gaze hitting Kaito's squarely. "I don't think that you…" He bit his lip, the picture of hesitancy.

It was at that moment that Kaito leaned in and pressed his lips to Shinichi's.

In retrospect, he probably shouldn't have been surprised at the softness and warmth of Shinichi's lips. But he was. Mostly because it was just so perfect, really. He'd always expected kissing Shinichi to be multiple kinds of perfect, of course, but this – this took perfect to a whole new level.

Kaito finally drew back when he realized he might pass out from lack of oxygen. Shinichi breathed out hard, blinking rapidly.

In the silence that followed, Kaito contemplated his options. He could run, though he doubted he'd get far once Shinichi got over his confusion, or he could try to stand his ground.

"As you can see," Kaito finally said, making Shinichi stop blinking four million times a second and stare at him, wide-eyed, "I am completely sober. As in, not drunk. At all."

Shinichi's right hand immediately flew to his mouth, realizing what he meant – there had been no taste of alcohol in the kiss. "Oh. Right." A beat. "That's what I said, right?"

"That we should talk when I was sober? Yes, you did say that," Kaito confirmed, a little bitterly. After all, it was those words that had caused him so much grief, and now Shinichi was acting as if he hadn't meant anything by them.

Shinichi shrugged helplessly. "What was I supposed to do? You're just – I didn't think there was a chance that you'd return my feelings."

"…Wait, _what_?"

Sighing, Shinichi yanked a hand through his hair. "You're perfect, Kuroba – amazing and intelligent and creative and perfect. And perfect people don't fall for people like me." He swallowed. "I thought – I thought there was no way. I mean, after Ran left me, I just… I thought it would be best to run because you were just confused or joking or something. And I mean, Hakuba was clearly drunk, so I just panicked and assumed that you were too." He groaned, covering his eyes. "I'm sorry."

Despite the twinge he felt at the mention of Shinichi's ex-girlfriend and the irritation that rose at Shinichi's denseness, Kaito was mostly caught up in being called perfect by perfection himself. "Did you just say – do you actually think _I'm _perfect?"

"Well…" Shinichi seemed to trace something over his shoulder with his eyes. "Yes."

Kaito was suddenly smiling, and he wasn't sure why. "Funny thing, that," he remarked, grinning so widely his face almost hurt. "I think you're pretty perfect, too."

Shinichi's mouth opened, then shut. He smirked as he leaned in. "You've _got_ to be drunk, saying such sappy things," he whispered, his breath warm against Kaito's lips.

"If anything, I'm drunk on you," Kaito replied before he tugged Shinichi down low and kissed him hard.

* * *

**I found this buried in my fan fiction folder. I don't particularly like it, but I'd thought I'd post it anyway.**

**Anyway, hope you enjoyed! Drop me a review if you did, and I'll see you guys around! - Luna**


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